I was in my room at the time when my mom walked in to tell me the news. Losing someone in your life hits you from different directions. I felt the water works coming and the feelings overwhelmed me. The type of news that you never want to hear, but it’s reality. To me the feeling was like losing a grandmother, even though she wasn’t my grandmother. She was my godmother, Aunt Peggy, she had taught me everything: advice, memories, and lessons I have learned from her sit with me every day.
The time that I thought about her the most was when she couldn’t see me graduate high school. She couldn’t see me succeed in my own business, start college, or become the woman I am today. All of the amazing trips I would have with her go through my mind every time I want to go on an adventure. Going through a breakup at a young age really takes a toll on how you feel about yourself or the whole situation. Some may go through a sadness point and others could be happier than ever. Unfortunately, she couldn’t help me with or give me advice for going through breakups, a time when I probably needed her the most. Going through the pandemic, it has changed the world I knew. I’ve had problems with friends that I wish she could have helped me get through what to do, and since I don’t have her, that’s what hurts the most. I know she’s still looking down on me and guiding me through life.
In school, I always had the hardest time, no matter what class I was in. For me to finally graduate, it was a milestone for me. But since Aunt Peggy didn’t get to see me graduate, there was and is an abundance of heartache. Starting college, as well as my own business, are topics that she and I discussed all the time. We planned out that I wanted to become a radiologist before I even started high school. Since I was always a creative person, she thought that it would be good for me to start my own business. From there, my best friend and I created Candlestick, and we sell homemade candles in mason jars. Although, I never went through with it until now, I always remember where I got the idea from.
Whenever I wanted to go on a trip, I always thought about the trips Aunt Peggy used to take me on. Going to Virginia Beach and Ocean City, NJ her two favorite places in the whole world. When I go to the places she used to take me, my heart always seems to hurt a little. Since I’m not with her, the experiences aren’t the same. We used to stay at the fanciest hotels, eat the best food every day, and do a whole bunch of fun activities. One that I remember very vividly is when she paid for me to go parasailing; it was the scariest experience I’ve ever had in my life. Going to Virginia Beach, I was only seven years old the last time we went. Although I was small, I remember everything because it was the last vacation I had with her. We saw the Blue Angels, went shopping, spent time at the pool, and sang Garth Brooks. If I had known this was the last trip I would ever have with her, I would’ve taken the experience differently. I would’ve cherished every moment and every second that I had to spend with her. But for now, all I have are the memories of how the most important person in my life helped shape me into the person I am today.
You never realize how much you’re going to miss someone so close to you, until they’re gone. If you’ve lost a person close to you in the past year or even five years, you know what I’m talking about. You always relied on those people to be there for you, at your hardest times, and after a year of social restrictions it’s been difficult to be there for others in your life. Either you need that person for going through breakups, hard times in school, or even a little mental support through this pandemic that we never thought would last this long. You and I look back on those memories we have with those people that we lost. Cherishing every single moment that you remember with the people you miss the most. Remember the advice and lessons they taught you as you were growing into the person you are today.
Diana Benavides is a first-year student at Holy Family.
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